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Phoenix Comic-con Fan Fest 2017

Phoenix Comic-con is in June and it is one of my favorite times of the year. For the last 3 years they have had a 2 day “Fan Fest” in November that I have wanted to check out. This was the first year I made it and even though I had fun and got to meet one of my favorite authors I probably shouldn’t have gone. I don’t know if any of you know what Pleurisy is, but its severe pain with every breath. (click the link to learn the whys and how’s)   But I had been suffering for about 6 days before the con and it was actually getting better. But after walking around for 3 hours on Saturday I was in so much pain I left and went to the ER.   After sitting in a hallway for 5 hours then getting an X-ray they wanted to do all this other stuff to see if I was having a Heart attack. That was stupid as I have had Pleurisy before and knew what it was plus I would have been dead if I had been having a heart attack for 5 hours but whatever, right? So 4 or 5 hours and a few IVs later they tell me its not a heart attack (No Shit?) and that the Pleurisy I have is viral so all I can do is rest. So what did I do, you ask? I went back to Fan-Fest on Sunday of course. I didn’t stay long but I still had a 2 hour drive home that was like stabbing myself in the lung with every breath. It is now Thursday morning and I have literally not gotten out of bed since I got home Sunday night except to go to the bathroom and can now breath shallow pain free breaths. Deep breaths still hurt but as my old granny used to say  “Life is nothing but pain” . She always was a bit odd.

Any way I did get to meet Drew Hayes the author of NPCs and The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant and many other great books. He is also the GM on the awesome Authors and Dragons Podcast. He has even done an interview on this very blog before! Check out the podcast its lots of fun and read the interview (not as fun but still good.) Drew had said something on his blog about  how he doesn’t dress up at cons but it is possible you might find him drunk and in half of a dragon costume. Well I couldn’t help but bring him a bit of something to wear that I made (and I will picture him wearing it during all future Authors and Dragons podcasts) He signed a few things for me and we had a nice talk. At least it was nice for me I may have been making no sense what so ever But that’s enough of my ramblings here are the photos.

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Drew Hayes wearing my gift
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Best thing ever!

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Comicare is a great cause!

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Pikachu was so happy to see squrtle
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I don’t know what they are from but I want to watch it

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Those wing are remote controlled
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That is one sexy Wall-e #astayoung

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I just missed the sweet group hug…
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Ghost busters everywhere but this was one of the best

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I almost screamed like a little girl I love Marvin!
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We had a nice talk about fur

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She even said By Grabthar’s Hammer… what a savings.

Where I ask C.T. Phipps and Michael Suttkus the best questions ever

johngobIn celebration of his just released book and his about to be released sequel I invited C.T. Phipps and Michael Suttkus over for a visit. I am going to ask them a few questions and I might even get him to do some kind of giveaway.

 

But first I will let the man himself tell us a bit about his new books.

 

C.T. Phipps: Awesome, Trevor, I absolutely am happy to discuss my new books LUCIFER’S STAR and I WAS A TEENAGE WEREDEER. Both of which are going to have their sequels coming out soon with LUCIFER’S NEBULA and AN AMERICAN WEREDEER IN MICHIGAN. I know you’ve reviewed both (see here for Lucifer’s Star and here for I was a Teenage Weredeer).

 

Michael Suttkus: You can’t make me talk!  Oh, wait, asking just might work!  I’m not sure what to say here.  I have cats.  They tell me to do things.  Mostly it’s “Feed me”, but you never know.

 

You had Michael Suttkus  as a coauthor on these books. Can you explain a bit on how that works?

 

C.T. Phipps: Michael Suttkus and I have been friends for twenty years and worked together on the RPG “Halt Evil Doer!” among many other projects. Basically, Michael Suttkus is an amazing world-builder and helped me create the setting for both Lucifer’s Star and I Was a Teenage Weredeer. Generally, I do the writing but often bounce ideas off him.

 

Michael Suttkus: Well, at first, we used the obvious method where we both write each chapter, then we force the chapters to fight it out in an arena to determine which is stronger while Star Trek fight music played loudly.  This proved less successful than we had hoped.  After that, Charlie did most of the writing while we threw ideas at each other.  While Star Trek fight music played loudly.  We’ve been stealing each other’s ideas for a while now so it seemed natural.

 

How much, if any outlining do you usually do for a book?

 

C.T. Phipps: I’m a hybrid author who generally comes up with an idea, “What happened to the Imperials after Return of the Jedi” and “What would it be like to do a Buffy the Vampire Slayer with the least dangerous shapechanger possible?” Then I generally plot out a bunch of ideas I want to do. None of these outlines ever last to the end but they give me an idea of what I want to happen to my characters. I take the view of, “How would each of my characters react to these events?”

 

Michael Suttkus: Outlining is a bit more necessary than normal in a collaboration just because you need everyone to know where things are and where they’re going at any point.  But an outline can’t ever be a rigid thing.  They say that battle plans never survive contact with the enemy, and writer’s outlines never survive contact with the characters.  They will insist on doing things their own way.

 

What do you think is the best pun ever told?

 

C.T. Phipps:” Oh deer. The puns were inevitable once I started writing I Was a Teenage Weredeer. Michael made me take them all to hart and I was unable to buck the system. I doe know if I could hoof it to the finish line as the very thought staggers me. *Ahem* On a serious note, I couldn’t help but make deer puns when I was making the book and Michael egged me on until the book had far too many. That’s when I decided Jane hated them and it was an actual “weakness” of weredeer she found stereotypical and annoying like vampires needing to count sesame seeds.

 

Michael Suttkus: English playwriter Ben Johnson was asked by someone to make up a pun.  He asked, “Upon what subject?” and was answered, “The king.”  Johnson replied, “The king is not a subject.” The second worst pun comes from Isaac Asimov whose “Death of a Foy” is nothing but a setup for one of the most groan-inducing puns ever written.  It’s all the better for apparently being a serious sci-fi story until the very last line when you realize you’ve been caught in a bad joke the whole time.  It is my life’s goal to produce a pun equally as painful and to inflict it upon an unprepared humanity!

 

In a few of your books you have snuck in small nods to your other books like Gary seeing a copy of  Cthulhu Armageddon. Should we keep an eye out for anything in this series?

 

Michael Suttkus: Charlie can handle this better than me. Though I should point out it happens even when you’re not looking. Shannon from Esoterrorism, for example, was the character who became Clarice in Lucifer’s Star. We move around characters we create and adapt others because some are just so good you can’t put them aside.

 

C.T. Phipps: Shh, don’t tell them we recycle characters.

 

Michael Suttkus: Bah, what’s next, telling them Wraith Knight took a lot from the Lord of the Rings?

 

C.T. Phipps: GASP! But actually, Trevor, we’re planning a crossover with Supervillainy Saga books. My next book, The Tournament of Supervillainy, is an homage to all those Crisis on Infinite Earth-style comics. Except I’m going to have characters from my other series show up and Gary visit their worlds. I totally came up with this idea and didn’t steal it from Marion G. Harmon’s Wearing the Cape crossover.

 

How do you manage to work on so many projects at once? Do you ever get them confused?

 

Michael Suttkus: Charlie does most of the writing.

 

C.T. Phipps: Says the guy working on three different books of his own.

 

Michael Suttkus: Which I will talk about when they’re done.

 

C.T. Phipps: Basically, I had a two year lull since I started professional writing due to Permuted Press making a contract that had my first books not to appear until 2017 (it was 2015 at the time). They never got printed by them either and I got another lull with Esoterrorism and Wraith Knight due to things happening with Ragnarok Publication. So, actually, the reason I had so many projects is I wrote other books during that lull and when I switched publishers, just handed them all my finished manuscripts.

 

Michael Suttkus: You still write like a madman.

 

C.T. Phipps: I admit, there’s also the fact I often let my imagination get away from me. I have more series than I know what to do with.

 

Michael Suttkus: How about finish them!

 

C.T. Phipps: My present plans are to finish up Esoterrorism, Wraith Knight, and Agent G as trilogies. Lucifer’s Star, Weredeer, and the Supervillainy Saga are ongoings.

 

Michael Suttkus: What about Cthulhu Armageddon?

 

C.T. Phipps: I consider it “finished” until my next idea. It usually shall come as a dream, I think, when the moon is in the proper alignment with Yuggoth.

 

If you could be any character from any book you have ever read who would you be? Why?

 

Michael Suttkus: Who wants to be a character from a book?  Terrible things happen to characters in books!  If they aren’t trapped in a post-apocalyptic hell-hole, someone’s trying to kill them or they’re trying to kill some evil, powerful person.  It’s danger after danger and sounds really stressful.  No, I want to be a character from a bad fanfic where the author doesn’t understand how drama works and everything is just wonderful for the main character.  Terrible story, but a great life!

 

C.T. Phipps: Captain Kirk is probably my choice because he not only gets to travel through space but he also has his legendary romantic life. *is hit by a book by his wife* Which is not at all a consideration but something that I was just bringing up as a possible benefit. Alternatively, I would be Han Solo for much the same reason. Feeling the Force wouldn’t be an option but I’d still have the Millennium Falcon. Too bad it would come with an awful kid.

 

A 35-foot ladder is leaning against the side of a building and is positioned such that the base of the ladder is 21 feet from the base of the building. How far above the ground is the point where the ladder touches the building?

 

C.T. Phipps: Michael?

 

Michael Suttkus: 0 feet.  A ladder with that shallow an angle to the wall will have fallen by the time you’ve finished asking the question.

 

How many books have you written, how many have you tried to publish, and how many are in print?

 

C.T. Phipps: About ten or eleven and all of them are in print thanks to the good folk at Amber Cove and Crossroad Press. If I had to recommend any of them then I’d say Lucifer’s Star and Cthulhu Armageddon are my two “best” works while I Was a Teenage Weredeer and The Rules of Supervillainy are my two most “fun.”

 

Michael Suttkus: Five, all collaborations with Charlie though I’m working on a solo novel about a PI in a world with superheroes. Also a story about a werecrow which would be more original if not for the fact Charlie put her in I Was a Teenage Weredeer.

 

Do you have any advice to give a new writer?

 

C.T. Phipps: Don’t put the cart before the horse. Finish your book first then start worrying about making a career of it. You’ll probably not be able to make a living writing for a number of years unless you get very lucky so being a part-time writer is to be expected. Write what you want to read rather than what you think will sell. Don’t trust the first offer you receive and double check with groups like Absolute Writer Water Cooler to see if they’re frauds or not. Don’t put down self-publishing or independent and make friends with other authors online. Social media won’t make you a success but it can’t hurt.

Michael Suttkus: Don’t forget to experience bad media.  If you can analyze why certain books or movies just don’t work, you can avoid making the same mistakes.

What was the last book you read? Was it any good?

Michael Suttkus: The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone.  Not to spoil it, but there’s a monster at the end of it.  I swear this book has turned more innocent children into budding nerds and writers by showing them the joys of metatext.  Most of what I’ve been reading lately is RPG books (“Numenera” was quite good) and paleontology.  I go through cycles.

C.T. Phipps: Star Trek: Discovery: Desperate Hours by David Mack and The Seer King  by Chris Bunch, both of which were very entertaining. I’m currently on a Star Trek kick to best help my writing for Lucifer’s Star’s sequel, Lucifer’s Nebula.

What one question do you think I should have asked you, but didn’t?

Michael Suttkus: Since you didn’t know I was going to be here, that hardly seems fair!
C.T. Phipps: How are you so awesome?
Do you have any questions for me?
Michael Suttkus: What’s up with the ladder question?

C.T. Phipps: When will you review my latest book?

I always throw in a few odd questions you guys got away easy. and as soon as you give me a copy. Speaking of giving stuff did you want to do a giveaway?

C.T. Phipps: Absolutely. I’ll happily give away 5 copies of I Was a Teenage Weredeer Kindle or Physical Copies.

Awesome! To enter to win just comment below. I will randomly select the 5 winners on Friday November 3rd. 

The metaphorical dice have been tossed and lady luck has chosen 5 winners! But first a huge thank you to C.T. Phipps and Michael Suttkus. I literally couldn’t have done it with out you! The winners are…………..

  1. Drew Cantrell

  2. alburke47

  3. Cristian

  4. Michael pope

  5. Sethia

Congratulations to you guys!

If you didn’t win don’t feel bad, just make sure you are entered in my new giveaway and follow the blog so you don’t miss my upcoming ones like the autographed Robin Hobb book that will be up for grabs  in December.

I will send an E-mail to the winners and if They don’t respond within 24 hours or so, ill pick a new name

 

Hob’s Review of A Plague of Giants by Kevin Hearne

A Plague of Giants (Seven Kennings #1)

by Kevin Hearne

ebook, 624 pages

Published October 3rd 2017 by Del Ray Books

 

 

I have been a fan of Kevin’s for years and it’s not just because he is a home town hero. I love his Iron Druid series on so many levels. and so, I admit I had some preconceived notions of what to expect with this new series. Well I was completely mistaken. Don’t take that wrong I enjoyed it but it was nothing like what was expecting.  This takes place in a whole new world created by Kevin, unfortunately that means no talking dogs or Irish goddesses. That is not an entirely bad thing though.  While not as strong of a book as the Iron druid it has some fresh ideas that give it a lot of promise.

Usually when a book is told in first person there is only one POV and that is kind of how this one works except not at all. The POV we see through is from Dervan, a widowed historian of a country called Brynt. He has the task of writing down the story a bard named Fintan is telling of the Giants War.  That is where the other POVs come in, when the Bard tells each part of the story he uses magic to take on the appearance of the person that part of the story is about. So the “voice” of the book changes frequently. I have to say Kevin did a very good job with that. Each one has its own personality and Idioms. That really brought the different characters to life. Some of them were boring at first but luckily it never stays on one person for too long and they all got better as time went on.

The book as a whole has plenty of blood and violence   I would almost classify the book itself as Grimdark. But the moments that are in the present are more lighthearted and it seems as if most of the war is over.

The magic system was particularly interesting. It is called a Kenning and there are 7 distinct types, each with its own subtypes that have different abilities.  The first is fire and then water air and so on. To be able to use this power you must go to the location for that kenning and it just so happens that each one is in a different country. To try and gain the power you have to risk your life. Brynt’s Kenning is water and if you wanted to gain this ability you must dive down in to an underwater cave as the tide is strongest and swim to the bottom. Of the people that attempt to gain a kenning at least 9 out of every 10 die in the attempt. We don’t find out why people are chosen, but the lucky ones will have powers that are pretty fucking awesome afterwards. It is said that each Kenning was discovered by someone that was suicidal in just the right place at the right time. I said before that there are 7 of them but that is just what everyone believes there is only 5 known Kennings. As with all magic there is a cost though and to use your Kenning ages you. The more power you use the faster you age.

That is all really cool! The thing I didn’t like that much are the Giants. No, not because they are the bad guys. Wait, well yes, they are the bad guys but that’s not why I don’t like them.  I actually liked some of the fire Giants. But I am getting ahead of myself again. There are 2 different kinds of giants. First is the Fire Giants (whom I liked sometimes) that live on the southern islands and have a history of trade with most of the other nations. They have the Kenning of fire (hence the name Fire Giants) and are known for the glasswork they produce.

Then we have the Bone Giants. They like to kill things and they wear armor made of bone. (Hence the name Bone Giants) That is about all we learn of them. We never find out if they have a Kenning. We never even really see why they sent armies across the ocean to attack. I am sure we will find out more as the series continues but I would have liked to know a bit more of their motivations.

Final Thoughts

I loved the magic system and how each land had mixed their idioms with the kenning they have. It was a fast-paced tale and Kevin told it very well.  I would have liked to learn more about the bone giants but hopefully that will come in the next book. I am going to give A Plague of Giants 4 out of 5 stars

 

I do think a Plague of Goblins would have been more fun though

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Me and my son Cristian

A phone conversation between my son and I. He recommends to me a book series that I have already reviewed and had multiple giveaways from the author, even having a “C.T. Phipps day” last week.. Yes it hurts to know that my own child does not read my blog, but being there when he realized how awesome I really am is priceless. Thanks Charles for writing great books and bringing my family closer together.

Hob’s Review of Riven Wyrde Saga, Books 1 & 2 by Graham Austin-King

Fae – The Wild Hunt: Riven Wyrde Saga, Book 1

Blurb

Fairies. The Fae. The stuff of bedtime stories and fables. But sometimes the fairy tales are true. Sometimes they are a warning.

For a hundred generations the Fae have been locked away from the world, in the cold, the Outside. They have faded out of sight and mind into myth and folklore, but now the barriers are weakening and they push against the tattered remnants of the wyrde as they seek a way to return.

As a new religion spreads across the world, sweeping the old ways and beliefs away before it, a warlike people look across the frozen ocean towards the shores of Anlan, hungry for new lands. War is coming, even as the wyrde of the droos is fading.

Only by realizing the truth lost in a child’s tale will the world hope to withstand the wild hunt.

Fae: The Realm of Twilight: The Riven Wyrde Saga, Book 2

The Riven Wyrde saga continues…

The Wyrde is dead and gone, its protection passed into the ether. The fae have been loosed upon the world as they begin their wild hunt, a nightmare from fables and legend made flesh. At Hesk, in the heart of the Barren Isles, Ylsriss must confront a reality she never could have imagined when her son is stolen from her by the fae. Her desperate attempts to reclaim him lead her far from this world and deep into the Realm of Twilight where a still darker truth awaits her. As the Bjornmen invaders drive their way deeper into Anlan, King Pieter refuses to act. Selena is forced to confront him directly as Devin and Obair flee Widdengate and begin a search for answers, seeking help from a woman who may be little more than a memory.

I read book 1 The Wild Hunt back before I was doing the blog, so I never did a proper review for it. So I am going to combine them, and this review will be about both books.

I have been so backed up with books the last few months that whenever something on my TBR pile comes out in Audiobook I grab it. So when the second book in this series, The Realm of Twilight hit Audible I snatched it up. After listening for about 5 min I stopped it, went back to audible and got book 1 and started on that one. Now I have done that before because I couldn’t remember what was going on or something like that. But this time there was a different reason. That reason was the narration  by Jonny McPherson was really great.  It may have been his first time as a narrator, but my readers from the UK might know of him from a TV show called Emmerdale. I used my magic to animate a lifeless goblin to give you a sample from book 2

The covers for both books are just a bit creepy and that goes well with the books. Between the two of them I can’t decide which one I like the best.

The Fae have been called by many names Fey, fay,  fae, Fairy, fairies, fair folk; Good People. Those names started because people were afraid to piss  one of them off by referring to them in a negative way. It was believed that If one of them heard you say something they didn’t like or even if you walked close to a place they gathered, they wouldn’t harm you most of the time but go after someone you loved. That would be why your infant died in his sleep or your wife had a heart attack, most bad things that happened would be attributed to the Fae. So it gets on my nerves when people think of Fairies like this

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when going by our actual folklore they would be more like this

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True in the myths they usually used a Glamour so the would look pretty but in reality they were mostly scary inside and out. So I am glad to see them portrayed more in the correct fashion in this series.Hey look Bob got dressed up as a Fairy princess!

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Book 1 starts with Devin as a small boy. His mother runs off with him after the abusive husband actually tries to hit Devin instead of her after Devin jumps on dads back while the dad is beating his mom. We never do learn if the Dad was dead or just knocked out but it does teach a good lesson. A Mother will take a lot of crap but never go after their cub or mommy bear will eat you..

it is on the road to a different city that things get…. strange. I won’t go in to how but it involves one of the Fae and Devin’s mom disappearing. He is found with not much memory and taken in by a nice couple that end up raising him in the village of  Widdengate. That’s as much as I’ll tell you about the plot  you will have to read it yourself to find out the rest.

Now what did I think about it?  Well I was surprised at the lack of fairies for most of the book. They are more of a minor subplot in this book compared to all the other things going on. Don’t take that wrong it is not too boring or too chaotic but going back to my bear analogy it is just right. And even though we don’t see many of the Fae you can tell it is definitely building up to something big.

Book 2 has more action solves a few questions and asks many more. My favorite character in the series so far is the Captain from my audio sample he is great with his dry sarcastic humor But Obair is a close second. Obair is an old man who was the last one holding on to the Wyrde, the force that kept the Fae locked away from our world. It was held by  druids spread out all over the world for a thousand years. But as tales of the Fae turned to Fairy tales the numbers decreased more and more. Now with the Wyrde gone completely the Fae can come and go during the full moon as they please. Taking human slaves back to their realm and killing any they feel like.

The battle scenes are pretty epic and overall there is some great action. There are some rather strange things happening and the author fleshes out his own folklore a bit more in some Intriguing ways.The ants nest has definitely been kicked and I can’t wait to see what happens

Final Thoughts

Both books were very enjoyable with good writing good plot and great characters.  For books with Fae in the title they were a bit light on the Fae For most of the time but that doesn’t hurt the story  at all. There is a lot going on but its not confusing and with the Audio all the main POV’s have a unique enough voice that it is easy to keep track of who is saying or doing this or that.  The whole story has been building  up to what I hope will be one hell of a conclusion. I have book 3 and am torn between wanting to find out what will happen and wanting to wait for the third book on audio. Graham told me that they have just started recording it and expects it sometime around June. Keep an eye out for a giveaway of some kind around then. I give book one 4 stars and book two 4.25 stars

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Don’t you just love fairies

Handy Hobs How to make a Helpful Hat Holder

 

Hello This will be a Hip post using Homoeoptotonian H words. Sorry but my Hat Holder brought about a hwyl in me! If you don’t know the meaning of something in this post I Have definitions below so you don’t think I am full of Hooey.

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In an effort to get rid of some of the useless crap cluttering my shelves and Hindering my organization.

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I came up with this neat little Sword in the Stone Hat Holder. Its not just for Hats However, you could hang a Helmet  or even a Hauberk from the Hilt If your Hardware  is Heavy enough. But I Hate to tell you this little Hog-Goblin, but that is not a Hat

at

 

 

I don’t know the Horometry it will take you., but it took me just Half of a Half Hour (15 min) to complete this project, not including time for the  paint to dry. ( It doesn’t take an Horologist to know paint dries slower if you Hover over it)

What you will need to Have to  Hand.

  1. The Handle Half of a wooden sword
  2. A Heavy piece of Styrofoam
  3. Black or a dark Hyacinthine paint
  4. some “stone” spray paint (Hold your nose it stinks Horribly )
  5. One H bracket……
  6. Just kidding you need a L bracket or a Hinge
  7. Handful of screws Sorry Hobnails won’t work

 

The wooden sword I got free from a Spirit Halloween store. I was building a Haunted house for my kids school with Hardly any budget at all. I just went in and asked the manager if they Had any broken items that we could Have to use as props for the Haunted House. I got the sword and a Whole ( it sounds like it starts with H) lot more. It was a lot of Hard work but I think it turned out great and it made the kids Happy.

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I don’t Happen to remember where I got the Styrofoam  I Had painted 2 matching pieces of the Foam black for something else  But only used Half of what I Had.when I Had Hung one up with my real swords.  You can get the other things at Home depot or any Hardware store for a few bucks.

 

  1. Paint the Styrofoam with the black paint. Or you can use any dark color you Happen to Have Handy.
  2. If your sword Happens to be whole you will need to cut it in Half.
  3. Line up the L Bracket at the tip of the Half sword and mark the Holes. Then drill them out with a bit Half the size of your screws.
  4. Once the paint on the foam Has Hardened spray it with the stone spray paint. I use a Helpful spray paint can clip on Handle for better control of over-spray.
  5. I may have Habromania but this part makes me Happy. You get to Stab the foam …. in the Heart? Well anywhere you want as long as there is a Hole.
  6. Once you have committed a Styrofoam Homicide Slide the sword in until you see the Holes you drilled in step 3.
  7. We need to find a stud to Hang your Hobs Handy Hat Holder™ as it will be too Heavy to Hang from the drywall. Once we Have the Location, line up, mark. then drill the pilot Holes and use the screws to Hold the Bracket to the wall .
  8. Now we align the Holes in the sword with the other Half of the L bracket and put the screws in.

9.. Now test it to see if it will Hold up with a bit of weight on the Haft.

  1. We need to Handle the Styrofoam carefully as we slowly slide the “Heavy stone” down the sword away from the Hilt until it Hides the Hardware.

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There you Have it! You made your own Hobs Handy Hat Holder™, and you read my Hortatory writing practice using  my Horrisonant Homotaxic Hephaestic Help. I Hope I didn’t use any Heterophemy in the post, I also Hope you learned some Heretofore unknown words without becoming Hypnagogic. Or worse become so angry that you thought of committing hospiticide. But I am sure your honorificabilitudinity is to high to try that.

Did you Have as much fun reading this as I Had writing it? I Hope so!

 

habergeon sleeveless mail coat
habromania insanity featuring cheerful delusions
halecret light half-suit of plate armour
hallux big toe
haqueton stuffed jacket worn under mail
hauberk long chain mail coat
heaume massive helmet covering head and shoulders
hephaestic of, like or pertaining to iron-working and blacksmiths
heretofore until now
heterism variation
heteropathy excessive sensitivity
heterophemy accidental use of word different from that meant
heteroscian dweller of a temperate zone
heterosis use of one form of a noun or pronoun in place of another for rhetorical effect
homoeoptoton use of series of words sharing the same inflections
hwyl emotional state capable of arousing intense eloquence
 

homeomerous

composed of similar parts
homiletical of, like or pertaining to homilies
homotaxic arranged in a similar manner
homuncule little artificial person
honorificabilitudinity honourableness
hooey nonsense; humbug
horrisonant dreadful-sounding
hortatory giving exhortation or advice
hortensial of, like or pertaining to gardens
hospitate to greet; to welcome
hospiticide killer of one’s guest or host
 

horology

 

 

science of time measurement A Horologist

horometry time measurement
hyacinthine of a blue or purple color
hyphaeresis omission of sound or letter from a word
hypnagogic sleep-inducing; pertaining to drowsiness or sleep
hypnoetic of, like or pertaining to unconscious logical thought
hypophrenia weakness of mental facilities
hypostasis basis; foundation; essence
hypostrophe return to primary argument after digression
hypostyle pillar

Hob’s review of HEY DOORMAN VIII: True Tales of an Uncommon Bouncer in Los Angeles by John P. Kildemm

HEY DOORMAN VIII: True Tales of an Uncommon Bouncer in Los Angeles

Feb 17, 2017 | Kindle eBook

by John P. Kildemm

 

The Blurb.

SEX — VIOLENCE — TRUMP Eight true tales from your wittiest bouncer’s, wittiest bouncer

Mister Kildemm chronicles the night life in the City of Angels as only he can, in the fourth installment of, Hey Doorman. But this time with a biting political edge working in cahoots with his always hilarious edge. That’s two edges people. TWO.

As Jerry Seinfeld once said, “I’m sure he’s having a good laugh over this with his doorman buddies.”

 

I received a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

 

A month or 2 ago the author got a hold of me through my blog and asked if I would be interested in reading his book that would be coming out in February. He added links on Amazon to the first 3 books and when i saw they were all on Kindle Unlimited I grabbed book one to peruse when I got a free bit of time.  It was the same day I decided to stop taking new submissions for a while, I just had too much to read.  But since I mostly read Fantasy and Science fiction it is always nice to have something different once in a while so I accepted.  I am glad I did because it was a generally good book.

As far as the cover goes…. Well there is not much to it.  The editing was well done. I noticed one or two small things. but most people, I am sure would not. I liked the prose. The author writes like he is telling you a story face to face,  so while not what I usually read or review it was done well and fits the book.

 

Now about the book. Well the most important fact of the story is in the title.  The  Uncommon Bouncer part. And it is true The author  John P. Kildemm is a big guy  with a big IQ and a big sense of humor. Now John doesn’t talk much about himself in the book but he tells stories of some of the crazy things that happen to him while working the door at different clubs in L.A. I gather from the stories that he is the kind of guy that laughs silently to himself but while reading I was able to laugh along with him.

The last chapter was really good but it was about Political things so I won’t go in to it but it was funny.

Final Thoughts.

The stories are mostly funny, some are strange, but all are memorable. While i did enjoy the book I I felt it was a bit too short. The political things might get to some but I enjoyed it. Over all a good book by an interesting  guy. Next time I am in L.A. I might actually go to a club but only if the Doorman lets me cut the line. Like the hot goblin below. I give Hey Doorman  3.75 stars out of 5

bounce

 

All of the Hey Doorman books are  on Kindle Unlimited for free so go check em out.

 

Hob’s Review of Veiled Intentions (The Dragon’s Blade #2) by Michael R. Miller

Veiled Intentions (The Dragon’s Blade, #2)
by Michael R. Miller

 

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for a honest review. This in no way changes my opinions.

I really like the cover but this one left me with not much to go on to goblinize it. So I just added a cute fluffy stuffed goblin.

32944833

. Just as in book one I am amazed at how well polished the editing is. I don’t recall seeing one error in this one and that is rare for me.

Although it did take me an abnormally long time to finish this it had nothing to do with the book itself, and everything to do with a Storage shed. If you don’t know what I am talking about count yourself lucky. If you do I am sorry.  Either way look at the upgrades I found for Bob in the storage unit.

dscn4981

Doesn’t he look handsome? For those that don’t know Bob. He is my Idea man, I like to bounce things off of him while I write. He usually has good advice…… OK stop looking at me like that! You are at a Goblin themed book review blog. You must have know I was a bit strange to begin with.  And Bob doesn’t like it when you stare at me. You don’t want to see Bob angry.

Now back to the book. This is the second book in a planed trilogy. Usually the middle books are a bit slower. This one did manage to keep the action up for the most part which was nice. But I did feel that the plot was a bit too predictable here. All of the big reveals that happened I saw coming. But I read a lot of fantasy so it’s hard for me to judge these things. As for where I think it will end  I may be wrong but I think I know. Now that may sound like a bad thing and I guess it usually is. But the writing style is good enough that even if I knew every plot point in advance I would still want to read these books.

In the later parts of the book a few things happened that I felt where pretty unlikely from what we know of everything that happened beforehand.  I don’t know enough about the guy to say if he is a traitor or not  But either way it still seemed odd to me.

Final Thoughts

This series feels to me like it would be a great introduction to Fantasy for someone that hasn’t read any before or didn’t like the books they tried. Its very well written but predictable so far.  I like most of the characters and really want to know if it is going to end the way I think or if all of my assumptions will be overturned. Because you know what they say of people that make assumptions. They make an ass out of you and  mptions. Wait that isn’t right is it? Oh well. Veiled Intentions (The Dragon’s Blade #2) by Michael R. Miller gets 3.75 out of 5 stars from this goblin reviewer and Bob.

3-and-3-q

TO BUY CLICK BELOW

Details

ISBN-13:
9781911079767
Publisher:
Michael R. Miller
Publication date:
02/10/2017
Series:
Dragon’s Blade , #2
Pages:
450
Product dimensions:
5.24(w) x 7.99(h) x 1.00(d

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Hob’s review of Delvers LLC. by Blaise Corvin

Delvers LLC: Welcome to Ludus

UNABRIDGED

Whispersync for Voice-ready

  • Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
  • Release Date: 01-05-17

***THE BLURB***

Henry and Jason led normal lives in Seattle before they were abducted to another world. Their kidnapper, the vain, self-styled god Dolos, refuses to send them back unless they can accomplish an impossible task. Oddly, Dolos doesn’t seem to care if they succeed or not.

Luckily, Henry and Jason studied Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) on Earth. Unfortunately, a Japanese American EMT and a geeky IT programmer don’t have many other useful skills on a sword-and-sorcery world like Ludus.

Stranded in the middle of nowhere on an alien world, the friends have no real direction and only a few possessions including magic-granting orbs from an apathetic god. Undaunted, the two begin their insane adventure to return home…but basic survival and eventually paying rent will have to take priority.

©2016 Blaise Corvin (P)2016 Blaise Corvin

This is a new LitRPG series that …. What is LitRpg? Well that is a Question with no correct answer right now. But basically it is a Fantasy or Scifi type of book that flirts with  breaking the fourth wall by adding RPG elements in to the story. Usually this is done by the MC going in to a video game. At which point his choosing new spells each level. and using armor that only works for his class become part of the story .

Robert Beven is one of my Favorite authors of these types of books and has been for years the term LitRPG is only around a year old though so I want to post Robert’s Definition  of LitRPG

LitRPG

“Being a high-functioning drunk, I was able to suss out the meaning without too much trouble, but in four years of writing books custom tailored to this very specific genre, I’d never even heard or seen the term used before.

So what is LitRPG?

 

LitRPG” is a combination of “Literature” and “RPG”, an acronym for “Role-Playing Game”. It’s a quickly growing genre which involves characters who spend most or all of their time inside a game. It could be a virtual reality setting, as in the case of Ernest Cline‘s Ready Player One, or it could be more literal, such as with the hilarious Caverns & Creatures series of novels and short stories by a very talented author whose name escapes me at present.

I’ve known since the beginning that the premise of my books is hardly an original idea. They’re pretty much the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoon from the 80s, but with more violence, bodily fluids, and gratuitous swearing.

And less Uni.

But now it’s a recognized genre! That’s such great news. Now, when people ask me what kind of books I write, instead of mumbling some gibberish about comedy/fantasy about gamers who get stuck in the world of their game, I can simply say, “LitRPG!”

And then they’ll say, “What the fuck is LitRPG?”

And then I’ll have to explain what LitRPG is, and follow it up with some gibberish about comedy/fantasy about gamers who get stuck in the world of their game, but they’ll walk away long before I finish. It’ll be awesome.”

 

As a side note Caverns and Creatures is very poorly reviewed here. I mean it. It is more of a recommendation than a review.

But let’s get back to Delvers LLC’  The cover is ok but looks better with a goblin in it. 51cm23idesl22

The title kind of put me off at first. But when I got to the point where it is explained I thought it was awesome. The narrator, Jeff Hays was new to me but I thought he did a great job and will probably pick up some of the other books he has done.

Now for the story part! Well you know how in both definitions of LitRPG I posted above that it involves video games in some way. Well this book doesn’t do that. See that’s why it is so hard to nail down the definition of LitRPG.

It starts with 2 guys practicing a bit of sword fighting. They study Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) like I do. But I have been a master for years. Believe me I look great for my age I wrote a book on HEMA back in the 1600s.

thrust

 

They suddenly get transported to a different world and are greeted by a narcissistic God named Dolos.  He tells them he has been taking people from all kinds of worlds for a thousand+ years and putting them here as an experiment. Right away they see some goblins and automatically think they are up to no good. Just because they are caring some humans trussed up for slaughter. That seems like racial profiling to me. They break in to the goblins home and proceed to kill them all. Only to find that the goblins had rescued the people and had been treating their injuries ……. Just kidding they were going to be lunch, one of the humans was already served.  But                                                       I still say it was harsh treatment.

So no video game in this one but Dolos did give them an object that would grant a magic power so we do see them leveling up. I have to say it was done well.

FINAL THOUGHTS

In a Genre that is getting to be very specific Delvers LLC. managed to redefine the definition. I thoroughly enjoyed the narration and story. It had plenty of character growth and fairly good interactions between the side characters as well as the main. All in all a good solid Audiobook I highly recommend to those who are new to LitRPG as well as those that  have been loving it since before it had a name like I have. I give Delvers LLC. 4.5 goblins out of 5

4-and-a-half

http://www.audible.com

Amazon