Signed Red Rising Giveaway

I am in a Facebook group called Hic Sunt Leones: A Red Rising Trilogy fan group

It is, well obviously, a group for fans of the Red Rising trilogy by Pierce Brown. Who is not only a great author, he is hilarious in person, and so damn Handsome he makes my goblin face look even worse than normal, but to top it off he is really humble about it all. But I digress, to celebrate the Facebook group hitting 500 members I am going to give away a signed copy of book one of his Red Rising trilogy!

To enter Like this post and make a comment. I would appreciate it if you also shared the post on the social media poison of your choice but you don’t have to. The giveaway will end on august 18th around 10:00 pm. 1 winner will be chosen randomly at that time and announced at some point soon after. (I know, I get so technical and stuff) If you have any questions, ask someone with answers. or you could try asking me instead. Good Luck to everyone and keep an eye out for Iron Gold the next book by Pierce expected early next year from the great and wonderful folks at Del Rey (PSST…..Send me an ARC great and wonderful folks at Del Rey)

I was going to make a graphic of some kind but got distracted by something shiny and forgot what I was going to do……. so…. here is this one that I made and then forgot what I was going to use it for….. I should see a doctor about my memory. Ill do it later…..


The winner has been chosen. Thanks to everyone that entered. shel


Time for a Book Haul or as I like to call it A.T.L.A.S.

I haven’t done a A.T.L.A.S. Adding to Large Ass Stack  post in a while So here goes..

1.First up is an ARC of Revenant Winds by Mitchel Hogan. I really enjoyed his Sorcery Ascendant Sequence    So, I have high hopes for this one. Mitchell told me it will be on sale September 7th with a simultaneous release on Audible.

2. I was one of the winners (Yay Me!) of the full Jesse Teller Library I talked about in my Interview with him last month. So even though I have read one and had another that’s still 2 new books for me! Thanks Jesse and Rebekah for Mestlven, and Legends of Perilisc


3.      An ebook of The Holtur Enigma first book in a trilogy by Cameron Wayne Smith that you can get free right now. And not just for KU subscribers EVERYONE can get this book free right now at this link

4. Blades of the Fallen by Ross Harrison, releasing on August 1st. It is the third book in a series, but he told me it is more of a connected universe than a series, the books all stand alone. So, I said I would have a look.


5. Another ARC this one called Broken Wizards by Jeffrey Bardwell. This actually looks really cool. It is Steampunk and magic at war.


6. Mistress of Crystals: Chronicles of the Second War of the Gods
by Justyna Plichta-Jendzio This one might be good if the Polish to English translation was done as well as the Witcher books.


 Now we are getting to the books that you, my wonderful reader, might win a signed copy of. I will be doing a series of interviews and giveaways for some of the authors in the #SPFBO contest run by the one and only Mark Lawrence. Here are the first 3 that I have but more will be coming soon. Also I have been working on making a body for Bob, so he can help out more. Do me a favor and tell him how good he is looking in the comments. (and for gods sake don’t mention Shakespeare in any way!)

7.  The Thirteen Treasures of Britain (Merlin’s Last Magic, #1)
by Jennifer M. Baldwin She sent me a copy as well as one for the giveaway so Thank you again!


He still only has one hand but he is trying.

8. A Threat of Shadows (The Keeper Chronicles #1)
by J.A. Andrews


9.And Last but not least A Star-Reckoner’s Lot (A Star-Reckoner’s Legacy, #1)
by Darrell Drake I have heard some really good things about this one, and with the goblin quotes he wrote I think I might just have to keep this copy and order another one for the giveaway. The author also asked me if I have ever played a game called Styx, a stealth game where you are a goblin. I had not heard of it but have now put in about 20 hours so… Curse you Darrell Drake!!! And thanks man I love the game. DSC_1163

Interview with author Drew Hayes

If you know anything about me you know I like a good laugh. And Drew Hayes has given me many great books with some great laughs. With his Spells, Swords, & Stealth 

books and Forging Hephaestus (I haven’t gotten to his Super Powereds series yet but book one is on my kindle) but I think out of all his books Fred the Vampire Accountant has given me the most laughs. And I am supper happy to say Fred’s 4th book will be out in just a few days, I think Fred would appreciate the correct dates and everything so on 07/25/2017 to be exact. I got a chance to ask Drew some questions so of course I asked stupid ones. But he seamed to enjoy it, and hopefully he will be back again.

  1. You always have such good Audiobook narrators. Roger Wayne   is Fantastic with the Spells, Swords, & Stealth Series and Amy Landon hit it out of the Park with Forging Hephaestus But I don’t think I have ever heard a narrator as perfect for a book as  Kirby Heyborne. So my first question is,

Q: How long did it take you to find Kirby Heyborne for Fred, the Vampire Accountant series?

A: From my perspective, it didn’t take very long at all. Usually Tantor Media (the company who does my audiobooks) will send me a few narrators to check out for each new project. With Fred, there weren’t many people in the mix on the first round, and as soon as I heard Kirby speak I knew we’d found the voice of my undead accountant.


  1. Q: You are the GM of Authors And Dragons, A Podcast Where A Party Of Fantasy Authors Try To Make It Through A Game Of Pathfinder. How did that get started?


A: Funnily enough, it started during a Fred release. I have a tradition where every time I get a 5-star review on release day, either from my speedy readers or those who had ARCS, I do a shot and post a picture. That day required quite a few shots, until I was rather buzzed and chatting with Robert Bevan of Critical Failures. We were just talking about gaming, I was in a hilariously bad superhero game at the time that I wished we’d taped, and from there the idea snowballed. We reached out to fellow writer friends, found some who gamed, and it all went from there.

{I Love Robert Beven’s books and the titles of his short stories are worth the price alone}

  1. Q: If you could do it all over again, would you change anything in your FIRST book?

A: I’m sure I would find no end of tweaks to make, fixing bad habits I’ve since broken and cleaning things up. That said, I wouldn’t change anything about the core story itself. I liked how Super Powereds: Year 1 came out, and I’m happy with the story as it unfolded.


  1. Q: Have you ever judged a book by its cover?

A: I’m sure I have. That’s not always a bad thing, though. There’s a language to covers, they’re meant to let a prospective reader know what sort of tale they are in for. If you see half-naked people kissing on the front and don’t like romance, then there’s nothing wrong with realizing you are not that book’s target audience. A cover should, ideally, draw in people who will like what your selling and let those who wouldn’t dig it know they can move on to something else.

  1. Q: Have you ever had a side character try to steal the show? Would you like to go back and make a spin off series or something for them? Or is there a theme or idea you’d love to be able to explore in more depth?

A: Not only did I have a side-character steal some of the show, I gave the guy his own spin-off. Corpies was a book following a side-character from Super Powereds and putting him in the spotlight. There are more I’d like to focus on as well, although some are harder to create a whole book around than others. Sadly, that means until I come up with a killer plot the world will have to wait on a Johnny Three Dicks standalone novel.

{Johnny three dicks is from Forging Hephaestus and is one of my favorite side characters ever and he had hardly any screen time}

  1. Q: If you could read any book again for the first-time What book would it be?

A: Anansi Boys, by Neil Gaiman. I’ve loved other books more, but none ever quite had the same feeling of magic when I first read them.


  1. Q: How many books have you written, how many have you tried to publish, and how many are in print?

A: I have written 15, and when The Fangs of Freelance (Fred #4) comes out that will be my 14th to be published. The missing novel was from way back when I did my first ever web-serial, and while I did finish it I don’t expect it will see the light of day as a published work anytime soon. It’s not terrible, but it very much reflects how new I was to writing at the time.


  1. Q: Are there any occupational hazards to being a novelist?

A: You don’t realize how much of your social interaction comes from work until you begin staying home all the time. So you start talking to your dog, a little at first, and then more until you realize that the dog left the room. Cut to a year later and you’re walking down the aisle of a grocery store mumbling to yourself about Doritos, because talking to yourself has become second nature. It’s a hazard they never warn you about.

{I have the same problem as a reviewer with audiobooks. I crackup for no reason apparent to anyone around me all the time}


  1. Q: If you had 1 million pennies what else would you have?

A: A shitload of empty wishing wells.

  1. Q: How many people have you killed over the course of your career? Real people first, then fictional.

A: For the first part, my company lawyers (which are me, only wearing a tie) have advised me to plead the fifth. For the second, it’s impossible to say unless we drill down. If you mean main characters, I think I’ve only killed one on the page, although plenty died in backstories. If we start including nameless pawns, however, I genuinely have no clue. The Spells, Swords, & Stealth folks have seen a lot of corpses in their travels.

  1. Q: What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author? Did it end up helping? Or did we just count that person in question 10.

A:  When I started, I had ideas of doing serious, action-oriented stuff. Okay… Dresden Files, I wanted to do Dresden Files. But I never landed that tone well at all, and my early readers called me on it. It wasn’t something I wanted to hear at the time, but when I really went back and looked at my work, they were right. The parts that were hitting well were the funnier bits, where I was writing more as me than what I wanted to be. So I steered into it, giving the humor more room to run, and my work improved a lot. As an odd bonus, I found that with comedy to play off of, I actually could write serious moments, I just had to choose them with more care.

{I love the humor in your books, but you definitely know how to throw a gut punch to the feels}

  1. Q: What has been the best compliment?

A: When I’ve gotten emails from folks telling me how my books got them through rough patches in their lives. I’ve needed books to escape in as well, so it means a lot to hear that I’m giving that to other people.

  1. Q: Do you have any advice to give aspiring writers?

A: I try to, when they ask, but the truth is unless they have a specific question it’s hard not to fall back onto the canned answers, because they’re all true. Read and write constantly, hire a good editor, and give up on the idea of the book coming out naturally and beautifully. Writing takes effort, and first drafts are usually awful. Accept that, and realize that you can go back and edit to make something good, but there’s no way to tweak a blank page.

  1. Q: What was the last book you read? Did you like it?

A: Mustache Shenanigans by Jay Chandrasekhar.  It was the story of Broken Lizard, including how they made Super Troopers and Beerfest, so yeah, it was a fun read.

  1. Q: What one question do you think I should have asked you, but didn’t?

A: When does The Fangs of Freelance come out? July 25th. And if people want to celebrate the release with me, they can do so at my annual Facebook Digital Release Party, which includes Q&A, live-streams, prizes, and, hopefully, shots. They can check it out here

{I’ll be there and you can also preorder on amazon and at }

  1. Q: Do you have any questions for me?

A: Got any fun personal traditions of your own?

{There is one with my 3 kids that started when they were 12, 10, and 8 years old.  One day I was driving my daughter home from school and she was kind of sad and not herself so I poked her arm and then acted like I didn’t when she looked over and I kept doing it every time she looked away. Until she started laughing.  Now there are so many rules to the game its impossible to win. Like It doesn’t count if driving north on a street that starts with a G.  When all 4 of us are in the car at the same time the rules get really complex. OH yeah and my kids are now 21 19 and 17}

Here is a Goblin animation of the intro The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant.

Here are a few images From reviews of Drew’s books I did and one I didn’t use


Zombie Bigfoot (Creature Quest Series Book 1) by Nick Sullivan

You probably think the lifestyle of a Fantasy Book Blogger is nothing but charactonym* wishes and calligraphy** dreams. But I am here to tell you that no matter what you may have heard, Goblin Leach has never Visited my cave for a spot of Tea.


*a name given to a literary character that is descriptive of a quality or trait of the character.

**fancy penmanship, especially highly decorative handwriting, as with a great many flourishes:

 In point of fact the only thing we get (other than enjoyment obviously) would be the Occasional free book that we accept in exchange for an Honest review. I am all for free stuff, who isn’t? But my TBR pile is a mile high and I get a lot of review requests. So many in fact that I had to add 2 notices to my Contact page, and they are as follows.


I am kind of open to review requests at this time.

WTF does that mean?

Well If your book is a Fantasy book or has strong “Fantasy” elements in it, feel free to ask. If your book is Sci-Fi you can ask but I probably won’t take it. If your book is an Old Adult Paranormal Romance Mystery Biography about a CIA agent trying to save the world from an unknown threat. The threat is unknown because he forgot it when he got Amnesia experimenting with BDSM for the first time. Will he remember that he was the villain in the first place, before time runs out? Or will he forget about the rest of the world and run away with the only person he can remember. And the real reason he was going to destroy the world…..  The love of his life and his greatest shame, His best friend’s wife and secret gun runner/ Sparkly Vampire/ Were-platypus Margret Thatcher!!  Will they find happiness or will the world be destroyed? Can he find love in the form of a Sparkly gun running platypus and live happily ever after?  Read and Find out!!!!!

If that is your book or if it has any of those elements please don’t ask. You still can, and I know you will.

But …..I said Please!


*******Notice #2 *******

If Someone actually writes that book I still won’t read it but I want my cut of the Billions it will make.

******END OF NOTICE #2 ******


I wrote that to dissuade people from trying to give me books I would say no to. It doesn’t work really, but it does point out people with a good sense of humor. In a way, I guess it is kind of like a test.  A test that Nick Sullivan passed with flying colors by sending me the following e-mail.


“I’ve got a book that is completely devoid of fantasy elements… though I do love fantasy and as an audiobook narrator I’ve recorded Goodkind, Weber, Kurtz, and Lackey. Why dare I darken your digital door? Because you clearly enjoy humor, judging by your own writing (and the fantastic blog name). So, if you feel like taking a little side trip into the woods of Idaho, please consider “Zombie Bigfoot”. It hit #1 in Horror Comedy on Amazon (for about three days) and has sci-fi, adventure, and action elements as well as the horror (and horror spoofery).”

For one thing, he actually read the notices and had a look at the blog.  Plus, I am a sucker for stupid comedy. You probably already knew that. (Goblin Leach that’s fucking golden) And it was available as an audiobook so I said yes. I am one smart goblin because it truly is a good book. The audio was done by the author, who I have heard before doing a few other books. He did a fantastic job. Really bringing the characters to life. Well until they died but more about that in a minute.

So lets talk about the story. Now the title Zombie Bigfoot might put a lot of people off from reading it. and in essence that is what it’s about, but there is so much more to it. Like an Iceberg or the Loch Ness Monster there is so much more hidden beneath the surface.



Now lets talk about the people the story is about. First we have the billionaire owner of everything from a record label to a space airline. He is  named Cameron Carson.  After his first space ship crew get stuck heading towards the sun he needs to do something to fix his image. What better way than to capture a live Bigfoot!  Right? I kind of picture him looking like this.


Well He got a hold of primatologist Dr. Sarah Bishop. Her father had been hurt on a camping trip and was rescued by a Bigfoot. When he gets home and tells his story some people go out to the area and never find anything. He becomes obsessed with Bigfoot. After losing his job and all his friends thinking he was crazy he killed himself leaving his journal of everything that had happened with the friendly fuzzy with big feet. No it’s not what you are thinking , you sicko.


Dr. Bishop knows they will need a guide so they hire Less … I mean Russ. I pictured him looking like this.


He has been doing a survival show for the last few years. Going out by himself hauling all his camera gear and then some guy that drinks his own piss comes on TV and starts stealing his ratings. In a effort to revitalize his show he agrees to be the guide. So those 3 along with a bunch of others hired by Carson set out looking for Bigfoot.


Not that Bigfoot.

This Bigfoot.


But when they get to the forest they find this Bigfoot.85913-6200224Fr.


Final Thoughts

I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed this Audiobook. The real surprise was the reading of the Journal. That part was especially well written. There are some pretty gory parts, so beware of that.  but all in all a really good way to pass 7 hours and 55 minutes. I give Zombie Bigfoot by Nick Sullivan 4 out of 5 stars.


Interview with Anthony Ryan

Anthony Ryan is the New York Times bestselling author of the Raven’s Shadow series, A fantastic epic fantasy with more than a hint of Grimdark. The Slab City Blues science fiction series. And his new series The Draconis Memoria …a Dragon Flavored Steampunk series. Book Two The Legion of Flame –– was released today in the US, Canada, UK, Ireland, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand.     I was lucky enough to receive an advanced copy of The Legion of Flame (Available NOW HERE) If you haven’t read book 1 yet, take a minute or two and examine the choices you have made in life. After that you can pick up a copy of it here.  Then feel free to read my review of book 2. Don’t worry it is spoiler free.

In Celebration of this new release a few of my goblin minions and I, with the help of Alexis Nixon at Berkley Publishing, were able catch Mr. Ryan (He can move fast when he wants to)  so we could ask him a few of my Famously stupid questions, and believe it or not he answered them! So, my thanks to Anthony Ryan for taking the time to do this interview.

1.      If you could do it all over again, would you change anything in your FIRST book?


Yes, I’d do more to eliminate the typos. Other than that, probably nothing. I’m not claiming it’s a perfect book, but I think once something’s done and published I think it’s best just to leave it alone. If I wrote Blood Song now it would certainly be a different book, for the simple reason that I’m a different person these days.


2.      Have you ever judged a book by its cover?


All the time. Everyone does, even if we don’t admit it. There’s a reason why publishers spend so much time and money on covers.


3.      Who designed your cover/covers? Where you able to work with the artist or is it all the publisher/artist/God?


For my self-published work, I’ve commissioned various freelancers over the years. I’m currently working with an artist in Germany, Kevin Goeke, who did the cover for my novella ‘A Duel of Evils’ (see more of his work here). For my traditionally published work the publisher takes care of commissioning artists / designers, although they do consult with me as part of the process.  –


4.      Have you ever had a side character Try to steal the show? Would you like to go back and make a spin off series or something for them? Or is there a theme or idea you’d love to be able to explore in more depth?


Sometimes characters become much more important than I was expecting, whilst others have a shorter lifespan than I intended. In terms of spin-offs I tend to use my shorter works to explore characters who I liked but didn’t get very much screen time in the full length novels. In my novella ‘The Lady of Crows’ I enlisted a character at an earlier point in her life as a means of exploring the criminal underworld of the Raven’s Shadow setting.


5.      If you could read any book again for the first-time, what book would it be?


Probably ‘The Book of Three’ by Lloyd Alexander, which set me on the road to a lifelong obsession with fantasy.


6.      What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Unsliced bread.


7.      How many books have you written, how many have you tried to publish, and how many are in print?


With the ‘Legion of Flame’ I now have five traditionally published books in print, with a sixth, the collected edition of my ‘Slab City Blues’ sci-fi noir series, self published as print-on-demand. Back in my twenties I tried to publish a very bad crime novel which was rightly rejected by every agent I sent it to.


8.      Have you found any occupational hazards to being a novelist?


My hands hurt if I type too long without a break. The main actual risk is that it’s a sedentary occupation and you need to remember to go for a walk every now and then. Other than that, there’s always the chance that someone who didn’t like my last book might send me a weirdly passive aggressive email.


9.      What is your favorite word? Least Favorite?


My favourite word changes by the day, at the moment I find myself most taken with ‘gargantuan’. My least favourite: ‘puce’.


10.  How many people have you killed over the course of your career?  Real people first, then fictional.


As for the real people, nobody squealed and the coppers were never able to pin nuttin’ on me, y’hear! As for fictional people, let’s just say I’m probably a mass murderer.


11.  What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author?  Did it end up helping? Or did we just count that person in question 10?


Criticism is only useful if it’s considered and not just someone slinging abuse. I think the best criticism I received was being encouraged to concentrate on clarity rather than lyricism when it comes to my prose.


12.  What has been the best compliment?


I always like to hear from people who’ve gotten something positive from one of my books, especially during difficult circumstances. I occasionally get emails from veterans or active service military people who seem to get a lot out of them, which is nice to hear.


13.  Do you have any advice to give a new writer?


Learning not to give up is a skill you have to acquire along with everything else. Other than that, read as much and as widely as you can and finish what you start.


14.  What was the last book you read? Was it any good?


The last book I read was Blackwing’ by Ed McDonald and it was terrific.


15.  What one question do you think I should have asked you, but didn’t?


Would you like a million dollars?

Yes. Yes I would love a million dollars….. Oh, I was supposed to ask you that. Well never mind then.  That’s all of the questions I have. Thanks once again to Mr. Ryan for spending the time to talk with me. To you, my loyal Goblins I say you really should check out this great series. It is Steampunk with friking Dragons! What more could you want?

SP dragon

Don’t ask me why the dragon above has goggles on his hat and his eyes. Who am I to judge a Steampunk Dragon? Seriously though this dragon was drawn by my Daughter I added the hat and goggles.



Ebook:  –  –  Nook  –  Kobo  –  iBooks

Hardcover:  –  –  Barnes & Noble  –  Indiebound  –  Waterstones  –  Wordery  –  The Hive

Audiobook:  –


Hob’s review of Faithless by Graham Austin-King

by Graham Austin-King


The Blurb

The temples of the Forgefather have fallen. The clerics and defenders that could once be found across the nine lands are no more. Priests huddle in the great temple, clinging to the echoes of their lost religion. But the Father has fallen silent. There are none who still hear his voice.

The mines of Aspiration lie far below the temple’s marble halls. Slaves toil in the blackness, striving to earn their way into the church and the light. Wynn has been sold into this fate, traded for a handful of silver. In the depths of the mines, where none dare carry flame, he must meet his tally or die. But there are things that lurk in that darkness, and still darker things within the hearts of men.

When the souls bound to the great forge are released in a failed ritual, one novice flees down into the darkness of the mines. The soulwraiths know only hunger, the risen know only hate. In the blackest depths Kharios must seek a light to combat the darkness which descends.


Let me start by saying this is a fantastic book in every aspect, from the wonderful cover (Designed by the equally wonderful Pen Astridge) all the way to the last page. But I am getting ahead of myself again. I received an E-ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influences what I say. As always, my opinions are completely my own. Well I am sure you will share them with me after you read it but you know what I mean.

OK now about this book. It is told through 2 POV’s. The First one is Wynn, a young farm boy who is basically sold to the temple by his father. The second is Kharios, a young man that has made it out of the mines and become a Novice in the temple. Now I know what you are thinking…. Well no that’s a lie. If I knew what people were thinking I would probably be doing something other than blogging, but stop trying to side track me.. What you should be thinking is, what kind of temple buys little kids and what are these mines I mentioned.

Well the answer to one explains the other. I will start with the Temple. It is the Temple of the Forgefather. Basically, a god of fire and metal.



Not that kind of metal.  More like this kind of metal.


So yes, he is the god of the forge. And the mines are where the metals and other ore is …. Well mined.

They need people to work down there so they take anyone they get their hands on. Sounds like a pretty bad God, right? Well we can’t really blame him he has been missing for a few hundred years.

So, anyway the book starts with Wynn getting sold to the temple. He starts out thinking he will be training to become a priest. That is the goal of everyone down in the mines, but one not reached very often. The book started out at a slow pace, but with some absolutely fantastic writing. I was comparing it to Rothfuss in my head for about half the book. Beautiful Prose, not a whole lot of action. But then Oh MY GOD all hell breaks loose. I was on the edge of my seat saying stuff like oh shit and no way for half the book.


I was blown away by this book. Faithless was one of the best books I have read so far this year. It is an awesome story told remarkably well. I read it in one sitting, I literally could not put it down. I highly recommend it and wish I could give it more than the 5 stars out of 5 that it received.


Get a copy of Faithless

Author Interview with Jesse Teller

When I do an Email interview like this I usually just post it as is. But, Jesse has really given some in-depth responses on some of the questions so I will respond (in brackets like this)


  1. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything in your FIRST book?

I did do it all over again, six times. There were seven drafts of that book. Mostly honing wordplay and some surgery of characters and plot points. There was a really cool idea where this half-demon cuts open this wizard that serves him, and he takes out his heart and replaces it with a crystal, and then closes his chest up again. The crystal performs all the tasks the heart would, but the crystal never needs rest, so the body never needs rest. This wizard was unable to sleep and he worked round the clock for the demon. In that draft, I got to explore the mercy of sleep, because sleep is a mercy. It provides an end and a beginning. Sleep is the most selfish thing we do for ourselves. Sleep gives us time to regroup before we face the troubles of the next day. All of those things were taken away from this wizard. He worked for the half-demon nonstop. His day never ended, and there was an immense amount of cruelty in that. If I could rewrite that book, I think I would put that back in.

(I suffer from Narcolepsy, so to me sleep is the bane of my existence. So I wouldn’t mind being that wizard, as long as he gets coffee breaks.)

  1. Have you ever judged a book by its cover?

It’s hard not to. It’s really hard not to. Let’s just talk about books because there’s the thing where you can say, “I met that guy and never really gave him a chance. I judged the book by its cover.” Let’s just set that aside and talk about actual books and actual covers. Have you seen the original cover for Stephen King’s book Wasteland? It’s all oranges and blacks and it’s got that scary train on it. It’s absolutely terrifying. When I first saw that book, I bought it immediately. Man, I wanted to read that book. That’s when I found out it was the third book of a series. So, I had to buy the other two. But man, when I opened that book, I was so excited. I got that feeling you get, when you’re watching a horror movie and you realize that it’s building and it’s coming for you, and you know, any minute, it’s going to break like a wave and the really, truly horrible part’s gonna come out. You keep waiting for that, and the tension keeps building and keeps building and keeps building and keeps building until, it happens. Well, I finished Drawing of the Three, which is the book before it, the night before. I woke up to go to school that day. On my way out the door, I grabbed Wasteland and stuffed it in my backpack. It sat there all throughout the bus ride, all throughout first hour and second hour and third hour and fourth hour, just building and building like a horror movie. I knew it was in that bag. At lunch, I skipped lunch, and I went out by the baseball field and sat on the bleachers. It was a cold day. I pulled the book out and held it between my hands. It took bravery to turn the cover. That was one of the times I judged a book by its cover, and I was not disappointed.


3.       Who designed your cover/covers? Where you able to work with the artist or is it all the publisher/artist/God/ Kid with the crayons?

I got to work with mine. She’s cute and sexy and she married me years back. She’s a great artist. She’s a graphic designer in profession. She listens to what I have to say about the covers, which I know is not what you get with traditional publishing. I had final approval rights on all of my covers. We chose a theme, and that theme was shadows. So, you’ve got the shadows of characters on three of them and the shadows of the skyline on the fourth. For my book that comes out in October, we hired a gifted cover designer from Seedlings Design Studio and I’m really excited about what she came up with.


  1. Have you ever had a side character Try to steal the show? Would you like to go back and make a spin off series or something for them? Or is there a theme or idea you’d love to be able to explore in more depth?

Oh man, her name is Helena Flurryfist. And I am obsessed with this woman. She’s got a bit part in a 7-book series I wrote, and, OK, the thing is this. I’m a fantasy writer. I write fantasy books. Action, magic, harrowing battle, love stories, and fire. I like fire. I do not write romance novels. Now I need your help, because you have to help me tell my beta reader and my wife that I do not write romance novels, and I cannot write Helena Flurryfist as a romance heroine, even though that is what they are telling me to do. I keep telling them, I don’t write romance. My wife keeps giving me that look, and that wife eyebrow she’s got, and she gives me that little smile that says, “I know you’re eventually going to do this anyway.” And I keep thinking about Helena. You’ve gotta help me, hobgoblin.

(She sounds hot, I bet she looks just like this)


  1. If you could read any book again for the first-time What book would it be?

The book is called Conan the Usurper. I’ve got a thing for Conan. Not the Arnold Conan. I need my Conan pure, like a good brandy, it needs to be aged. It has to have been written by Robert E. Howard in the 20s when he first created the character. Nobody writes Conan like Howard. We’ve seen a lot of people try. There have been some good Conan stories told, but nothing like Howard. So I’m reading this story, and it takes place way out in the jungle in nowhere. It’s a Robert E. Howard jungle, so it’s dark and old and musty and wet and muddy and gritty. And there are these drums off in the distance, and every now and then you hear a scream out there. And you’re a hero that’s headed for those drums, and you can feel it right here, right in your chest. You can feel that bass rattle in your ribs, and the closer you get, the more details you get. That’s the horror of it. The closer you get, the more you can hear that there’s rattles, you can hear that there’s screaming, you can hear begging, you can hear mumbles and chants. And you’re just pushing through the thick, waxy leaves, squelching in the mud, wishing you didn’t have to take the next step to get closer. Man, only Robert E. Howard can put you there. There was something savage about that night. I was in a little one-room apartment. It was my apartment, so it was dirty. It was an old building, and you could hear it tick around you. It wasn’t far away from a highway, but it was far enough that the only thing you could hear were the semis screaming by. The book was an old nickel paperback. When you turned the pages, you could feel they were gritty, like those old paperbacks get. The book was battered and bruised. There were pages, a big chunk of pages, missing out of the back. And I knew that when I got to those pages, I wouldn’t be able to finish the story. But I had started it, and I was in the jungle, and I’m moving forward through the leaves and I can hear the drums. I can hear the screaming. I can hear the rattle. I can hear the chanting, and I’m not even kidding, hobgoblin, I ran out of pages. I set the book down in the middle of the floor, and I stood up and I stared at it. I knew that even if I had a brand new copy, and the pages I was missing were in there, I was never going to have that experience again. So years later, when I found the book at a used bookstore, I walked right past it. To this day, I’ve never finished that book. And I wish more than anything, that I could go back to that night and read that story again, and again run out of pages.


  1. When trying to figure out what a character should look like, do you Think of Celebrities, or just start looking at everyone you pass as if your looking through a mug shot book?

It’s really neither one of those. A character literally just walks in my office. Sometimes I see them and I know what they should look like, but they don’t look that way, so I describe them how they should look. Allow me to give you an example. I’ve written a book called Forsaken. Now this book’s not coming out for a very long time, but it has a character named Earl Flurryfist. Earl is a member of the Flurryfist clan. His people, dating all the way back to the progenitor of the clan, had thick blonde hair. Earl showed up in my office that day with short cropped black hair. So I wrote him with thick blonde hair. And now, every time I see him in the book, he’s got black hair, and every time I see him in the book, I describe him as a blonde. There’s other things, too. Sometimes, scars will be there and I don’t know how the scar was created, so I don’t describe the scar. I’ve got one character in one of my books—now goblin, I only write fantasy books set in the fantasy time period. One of my characters showed up in my office one day wearing an object I can never describe in any of my books. He was wearing a Rolex watch. Had a sword, and a dagger, and a gold Rolex. When I wrote that character, of course, I didn’t describe the Rolex. That didn’t stop him from checking the time. I just didn’t describe it.

( I am not surprised, even goblins know that it is all about the bling.)

ed 1

  1. How many books have you written, how many have you tried to publish, and how many are in print?

Monday night I finished my 25th book. I’m a no-child-left-behind kind of writer. I don’t write a book and decide I’m never gonna publish it. I’ve decided on a publishing rate of two books a year for normal size books, and for my epic books (anything 700-pages or longer), one a year. At that rate, the book I finished Monday will be published in 2033. I’ve only printed four so far. But I don’t have time to slow down. I’ve got a lot more planned past these 25, and I’ve got a lot of work to do. My all-time hero is Louis L’Amour, and I hope one day to be the Louis L’Amour of fantasy.

  1. Are there any occupational hazards to being a novelist?

OK, so I type with three fingers on my left hand and four fingers on my right. I didn’t learn to type properly. So, my pinky finger on my left hand is always flexed and out of the way. That is fine for a normal workday. But toward the end of a book, I go into what we call end-of-book mode. And my wife allows me to obsess about the book, and I start putting in real numbers. When that happens, my pinky finger starts to cramp, and it feels like it’s on fire. But I can’t stop typing. That’s not an option. And I don’t use voice software. So what I do is I take medical tape and I tape my finger straight. It’s not very comfortable. It causes me to cuss a lot, and it slows me down a little bit, but at least I can still type. But every now and then, I look at that finger and the quote from the Bible, “If thy right eye offends thee” will come to mind, and I’ll think to myself, “Could I still get by if I only had 9 fingers?”

(I know this is a really bad graphic but Sorry not sorry)



  1. If you had 1 million pennies what else would you have?

A big jean pocket. No, if I had that many pennies, like I wouldn’t need all that, so I’d take about 5 pounds of pennies and I’d melt it down. My wife thinks blacksmiths are sexy, so I’d set myself up with a forge. I’d smelt the copper and pour it and make a copper sword. While the metal was still cooling, I would sink pennies in it to form the skin of the sword so you could still see Lincoln’s face. And I would call it The Emancipator.

(now that is a great answer)


  1. How many people have you killed over the course of your career?  Real people first, then fictional.

Real people? I can’t really get into that. Not so much because it would incriminate me, but a lot of really good friends put their lives on the line to help me dispose of bodies. But let’s talk about killing characters in books. I can’t even begin to tell you how many characters I’ve killed. Pitch battles where tens of thousands of people died, down to the little deaths where somebody just curled up in an alleyway and gave up the ghost. I can tell you about the ones that hurt me. The way I deal with it is I don’t blame myself. A lot of times when I’m writing, it doesn’t feel like the story’s coming from me. It feels like I’m witnessing it and writing it down. So when I witness the death of one of my favorite characters, I don’t take the blame for that. All I can do is try to represent that death in the best way possible. They’re gonna die, they’re gonna die horribly or die well, and the way I see it is, I owe it to them to make that death as representative of how it actually happened as I possibly can. In the end, I’m not a god in this world that I work with. People have said that I am. An editor I respect looked at me once, when I told her something wouldn’t work, she looked at me and said, “You are the god in this world. You can make it work.” That’s not bad advice. But I don’t think in my particular case it’s very accurate. I’m not a god in this world, I’m a reporter. I’m just trying to bring the news of what has happened in Perilisc to the people who want to read about it.

(Why won’t anyone answer the first part of this question? But I do Recognize your loyalty and must applaud you for it.)joke517bac-c

  1. What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author?  Did it end up helping? Or did we just count that person in question 10?

The toughest criticism I ever got… Well, there’s the little deaths you suffer when you’re a writer. You talk to somebody and they tell you how interested they are in your work, and you give them the book, print it off and hand it to them, and they say, “Yeah, I got through the first chapter and then I ran out of time.” And what they’re really saying is, “I read the first chapter and I didn’t feel the need to read anymore.” I was told once by my stepfather, when I was in high school, I had just written a story, and I was told by him, “I’ll read it when it gets published.” But that’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re not talking about the little deaths. My editor for Liefdom came back with pages of comments, with suggested rewrites. This was in 2010. I read it, and there’s the knee-jerk reaction of “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” or “She just doesn’t get it,” or this one’s my favorite, “She’s just jealous.” And what I had to understand was that I just wasn’t a good writer. So, I was at a crossroads. There’s the turn to the west that says now we work, now we work at being better. We write one book after the next after the next after the next, until we get good at this. Or you turn to the east, and you’re like, we’re not good at this, I give up. At this point, either one of those is a viable path. We choose to give up on things we’re not good at all the time, that doesn’t make us bad people, or weak. She gave me those pages and I had looked to the west and looked to the east, and I went west. Ask me on another day, and maybe east. I eat a bad breakfast and have indigestion, maybe east. But I went west, and I worked for six years, writing every day, until I was good enough to publish.

  1. What has been the best compliment?

That one is super easy. I’ve heard this a couple of times and I think every writer would agree with this. “I just couldn’t put it down.” For two women I know, the day they started Liefdom was the day they finished it. One of them made a day of it, got up, started reading, read all day, went to bed. But one of them was a single mother of two lively daughters. She put her daughters to bed after working a full day, and picked up my book to unwind before she went to bed, and when she was done with that book, she took a shower, she woke her daughters up, sent them to school, and she went to work. How can that not be the greatest compliment I’ve ever gotten?

  1. Do you have any advice to give aspiring writers?

This one is really easy. Write all the time. When you’re done writing, either eat or sleep and get back to writing. The more I wrote, the more I trained my brain to write. So, at first, I needed an idea of what I was going to write that day in order to do the job. Flash forward 300,000 words, and now I don’t even need to think about it. The day’s words just come to me. Flash forward 3 million words, where I am right now, and I don’t really need a game plan for the book at all. The more you train yourself to write, the less you need to plan, the less you worry about doing it. I have a friend I’m mentoring and he’s like, “I just didn’t have anything to write today.” My advice to him is always the same. Write anyway. Work inspires more work. Very rarely have I ever come across an artist in any field who made a piece of work and was done. Usually, during the course of making a piece of art, they become inspired for their next piece. Work inspires work.

  1. What will be your Final words?

When I die, the final words I say will be, “I love you so much. You were such a good wife. and I’m so proud of you.” When I write, my final words will be one of two things, “And he looked across the smoking ruin of the world, and laughed.” or “He looked across the smoking ruin of the world, and decided he could help.” It all depends on who wins.

  1. What one question do you think I should have asked you, but didn’t?

I was talking to my father-in-law one day. He was driving me to pick up my kids at martial arts, and I had just completed an interview. He’d never read any of my interviews. I said, “I took an interview today.” He said, “OK.” I said, “They’re all starting to sound the same.” He said, “Oh,” and then he listed off four questions. The man has never read an interview for a writer, and he knew the four questions I had to answer the most. When you’re doing this, you answer a lot of the same questions, and I haven’t had to do that with your interview. This is one of the best interviews I’ve ever had. And I always wonder, why didn’t they ask about this, or why didn’t they as about that? I’d say you cut pretty deep into the meat of what I am doing. But the question I’ve never been asked is, who is your audience? In our mind, as writers, we picture the people we’re talking to. Usually it looks something like Comic Con, where you’re sitting on a stage and you’re talking to a crowd of people that are all dressed up like the characters you’ve written, and those people are going crazy for you. That’ll get you through one or two books, but you’ve gotta dig deeper when you’ve been writing for six years and two people have read your work. When you’ve been doing it that long, you need to have a more defined audience. So what I do is, I pretend that I’m dying, that my kids are too young to understand, and I’m not going to be able to teach them and raise them in all the things I want them to know. So all I have is the book I’m writing, and in that book, I have to teach them something about the world, that they’re too young to know now. All of my books are love letters to my children. One day, when they’re much older, and before they go to college, I’ll give them a copy of all my books that I’ve published to that point. When they read that, they’ll truly know their father.

(As a father myself that really hits home. I will read the rest of your books with a different eye)

  1. Do you have any questions for me?

I could ask how you came up with these questions. I could ask where you got the name the Hobgoblin. I could ask why you spend your time interviewing writers. I could ask what you thought the first time you read my book. But I’m not going to ask any of those questions. I think I’d like to know what age you were when you decided you wanted to spend the bulk of your time in other worlds, and what was the book that did it? What was the book that made you say, “I want to spend my free time doing this.”?

“That is kind of an easy one. I have Dyslexia and when I was young I hated to read. It was really frustrating for me. But I am nothing if not a stubborn little goblin, so I made myself sit and just do it, and I soon started to beat my frustration down.. I started with the Dragonlance books when I was 9 or 10. Then soon moved on to Greek Mythology and  Conan. But when I was 11 I had my first major surgery to remove tumors from my sinuses and when I was recovering my Uncle gave me Lord Foul’s Bane the first book of the The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson  It was good but I read the whole trilogy in 4 days. I needed something nice and thick to sink my teeth into.

I was still really weak. I was not supposed to even get out of bed for another 2 weeks, because, I had after all, just had  8 1/2 pounds of tumors taken out of my head but I needed something to read. So I bribed my brother to take me to the grocery store. I got on my brothers handlebars and he pedaled me the 2 blocks. I was lucky enough that they usually had a good selection of books.(For a Grocery store at any rate) On that day I picked up The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan. It was on a cardboard New Release display, Having read some of Jordan’s Conan books, I was sure I would like it so I picked it up and bought it Without even opening it. In the 27 years since then I have read that book, and the rest of the series as well around 35 times and listened to the audio 15 or 20 times.It consists of 10,173 pages, 4,410,036 words, and the playtime of the Audiobooks totals out at 19 days 5 hours and 25 min.

Here is that book. I was never lucky enough to meet Mr. Jordan and have him sign my old battered book But Brandon Sanderson did.

You know how I asked about if you could go back and read it again for the first time? I was actually able to kind of do that when my son started the series. Our discussions long into the night are some of the best memories I have.”

Well that is all for the questions. I really want to thank Jesse and his wife, Rebekah for taking the time getting these questions done. I hope you guys had as much fun as I did.


As for you my fearsome Goblin readers you should take a minute and head over to Jesse’s blog and follow him to be entered to win 5 FREE books! Also don’t forget to take a look at the Excerpt of Jesse’s new book I just posted HERE    

Here are details on his new release:

Mestlven: A Tale from Perilisc
Revenge, Insanity, and the Bloody Diamonds
Meredith Mestlven was abused and betrayed by her nobleman husband. After a desperate fit of retaliation, she fled for her life and lost her sanity. Now nearly 20 years later, she returns to her home at Sorrow Watch to destroy her enemies and reclaim her jewels. How far will she go to satisfy her revenge? Dark, cunning and beautiful, Mestlven will win your heart or devour your mind.

Book links:

Author bio:

Jesse Teller fell in love with fantasy when he was five years old and played his first game of Dungeons & Dragons. The game gave him the ability to create stories and characters from a young age. He started consuming fantasy in every form and, by nine, was obsessed with the genre. As a young adult, he knew he wanted to make his life about fantasy. From exploring the relationship between man and woman, to studying the qualities of a leader or a tyrant, Jesse Teller uses his stories and settings to study real-world themes and issues.

He lives with his supportive wife, Rebekah, and his two inspiring children, Rayph and Tobin.



Excerpt from Mestlven: A Tale from Perilisc by Jesse Teller


This is my first time Posting an excerpt so I am just going to post it and then put all my amazingly witty and hilarious stuff down at the bottom……. Excerpt is a strange looking word, isn’t it?

OH I should say this is From Mestlven: A Tale from Perilisc by Jesse Teller.

You know, if you didn’t get that from the title. Anyway here it is.


Festival of The Pale


The Pale, the goddess of death, fixed her rotting eyes squarely on the city of Mestlven where grew a darkness, patient and terrible. Her murder lifted from the battlefields of Corlene to swoop and brood on Mestlven’s roofs and scream at her citizens. Enormous crows, two feet tall with four-foot wingspans, terrorized the city and ate her trash, her vermin, her dead. When those sources of rotting meat and bloated flesh ran out, the crows began hunting her young. The coming of the crows marked the goddess’s intent for the city to host her annual festival. The clergy of The Pale arrived in force while her citizens cringed and waited with dread.

Mort arrived in Mestlven on the eve of the festival, her garrote stashed in the cuff of her robe, her dagger hanging from her hip. She murmured the prayers of The Pale and witnessed the spectacle of the massive city. Built by a long-dead race of giants, the scale of the buildings reached beyond her understanding.

Her wagon lurched ahead, rumbling along the cobblestones. The idols it carried trembled. Navigating the hills and winding alleys of the city proved difficult. Citizens pressed in tight to see The Pale’s cloth march through their streets like the slow and steady onset of some plague. Hunched over the reins of the wagon, Mort was used to the way they stared, fear branded on every face. Her brown wool cloak, befitting a priestess of her rank, gave no hint of the trim body she hid within its folds. They could not hope to guess her size. With the grinning skull she had painted on her face, and the scowl their pie-eyed looks teased up from her, she knew their fear nearly crippled them. No city wished to host the Festival of The Pale, but for some reason the goddess’s considerable murder had chosen this town. Mort found her anticipation growing.

For long years she had been a brown robed priestess of The Pale. She longed for advancement within her order, for a better understanding of her goddess and a closeness to The Pale that had been lacking these past months. She thought again of her bishop’s groping hands and the rage they had inspired in her, and she felt at odds with her church’s leadership and its goals. She had never been chosen to attend the Festival of The Pale before, but she knew something grand was about to happen.

The Grim stalked ahead, the personification of The Pale in the world of man. She rode the great albino horse that never died, and a black fog issued from the hem of her rotting robes to crawl the ground in all directions, seeking out the corners and recesses of the city. She carried the staff that claimed everything before it. Mort had never been so close to The Grim, and her excitement for the festival brought her near to panting.

The procession stopped at the center of town. The Grim dropped heavy to the street beside her mount, and with a clawed hand, stroked the beast’s muscled flank. She shuffled forward, dragging her feet and leaning heavily on the staff until she reached the very center of the courtyard. There, she slowly lifted the staff a few inches from the ground and held it aloft.

“Wretched mother of death, we come to this place at this time to make tribute and receive tribute in your honor.” The Grim’s prayer broke across the air, dry like the rattling of bones. “I claim this city for the duration of the festival for you and your enjoyment.”

She slammed the staff into the ground. The street trembled as a circle of power exploded in all directions and embraced the entire city. The crows lifted into the air, screaming as they stained the Mestlven sky as black as a cloud of noxious gas issuing from a ruptured corpse.

Mestlven: A Tale from Perilisc
Revenge, Insanity, and the Bloody Diamonds
Meredith Mestlven was abused and betrayed by her nobleman husband. After a desperate fit of retaliation, she fled for her life and lost her sanity. Now nearly 20 years later, she returns to her home at Sorrow Watch to destroy her enemies and reclaim her jewels. How far will she go to satisfy her revenge? Dark, cunning and beautiful, Mestlven will win your heart or devour your mind.

Book links:


Jesse is giving books away!!

To enter, just follow via email or WordPress by July 16th. On July 17, 2017,  he will randomly select winners from his blog followers.


Five (5) winners will receive a digital version of the Perilisc Starter Set: Liefdom, Chaste, Mestlven, and Legends of Perilisc in the format of their choice (mobi, epub, or pdf available).

One (1) grand prize winner will receive signed paperbacks of the Perilisc Starter Set: Liefdom, Chaste, Mestlven, and Legends of Perilisc.

Author bio:

Jesse Teller fell in love with fantasy when he was five years old and played his first game of Dungeons & Dragons. The game gave him the ability to create stories and characters from a young age. He started consuming fantasy in every form and, by nine, was obsessed with the genre. As a young adult, he knew he wanted to make his life about fantasy. From exploring the relationship between man and woman, to studying the qualities of a leader or a tyrant, Jesse Teller uses his stories and settings to study real-world themes and issues.

He lives with his supportive wife, Rebekah, and his two inspiring children, Rayph and Tobin.



What? Why are you still here? Oh I was just kidding about the amazingly witty and hilarious stuff. You should know me better than that by now. I will be posting a really great interview with Jesse Teller that I will link here, but for now its 4:00am and I am all out of witty things to say. I guess I am witless.

I Went On An Adventure




I went on a hike a few days ago to test out my new camera. It is a Nikon D3400 I am still getting used to it, so some of the photos are kind of cut off, but the clarity is pretty good I think. So lets start going through the photos.

This first shot is a Cactus growing out of a crack in some rocks.DSC_0014

But when we zoom in a bit we can see a friendly spider has made its web underneath the cactus.


As if being covered in 2 inch long spines wasn’t enough to keep people away the 2 foot wide spiderweb so thick you cant see through it should do the job.

Next we come to a cliff that might just be kept from falling by 2 trees




Now lets go up to the top of a cliff from witch I was able to look down on a waterfall.



And here is a short video



Then I saw the most messed up tree ever. It looks like it is trying to eat the rocks it is growing out of. But even cooler than that was the Dragon living in it.



And here is some GOPro Videos of my hike. Watch if you like to see fat guys sitting on cliff edges and then jumping rock to rock and not falling. Yes I am like a Goblin/Goat.





















Now some leftover Photos I think turned out pretty good but I couldn’t fit them in to the story lol.





Fantasy and Sci/FI Book Reviews & other stuff

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