How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for this review.
I saw this and was intrigued. I mean who wouldn’t want to read a book with a kitten playing with a gun on the cover? Wait did I just admit to judging a book by its cover? Well don’t do what I just did. You wouldn’t want to succumb to the peer pressure of Judging books by their covers and you sure as heck don’t want your tiny little kitty too either.
When I opened the box, the back cover was facing me. As I read the rear cover blurb, a smile crept up on my face.
I was about half of the way through this book when I felt my face starting to hurt. Yes I had a perma-grin on the whole time. Well it had only been about 10 minutes, but still my face hurt. I went to get a soda and the T.V. was on in the living room. That’s when terror grabbed my heart and squeezed.
I heard Trump making incoherent sounds on the news. I was able to make out a few words “Great Again!” Then he said “No Big ehhh don’t, We are going to, OH you have no idea! Very! big in the Polls. My brain is She , ASK ANYBODY! it and don’t believe ever happened…..
My blood was running cold. What if this book was not meant to be funny!!! It is hard to believe but there are people out there stupid enough to Vo……… Well there are stupid people out there.
How could I know that the sections titled “Who are the enemies who seek to undermine my cat’s faith in Creationism” and “Are there any types of guns that are inappropriate for my cat to use?” are just parodies? Just a way to look through the eyes of the crazies in the world, through even crazier cat lady colored glasses?
I raced back to the book, My blood pounding in my ears. The THUMP,THUMP of my heart so fast it was almost one continuous TRRUUUUUMMMMMMPPPPP.
I spent 10 more minutes getting to the end of the book. There was nothing that indicated it was hilariously mocking over religious, overly protective parents of the past and present with the words “Many cats become interested in Dungeons and Dragons because they enjoy batting at the dice with their cute little paws”
I reached the end of the book and closed it gently in my lap. I bent my head and quietly sobbed for humanity. My dog jumped in to my lap to cheer me up. Even though he knows I hate it, He licked my face scraping the tears off my cheek with his disgusting smelly tongue. I pushed him off me
I had dropped the book. Its back cover again facing me. That’s when I saw it.
Relief floods my body as I, now, have proof that this book, is not an Instruction manual on how to raise the Anti-Kitty
The Anti Kitty meows out to all NAO IM BECOME DEATH, TEH DESTROYR OV WORLDZ
What this book is, is the best Coffee table book or reading material for the guest bathroom when you have unwanted house-guests that has ever been devised.
It is short 136 Small pages with Big typeface. It took me about 20 minutes to read. Seriously though the book is funny and entertaining. I am going to rate this at a 3.75 out of 5 stars A lot of fun but only for a short time and I don’t see myself rereading it much. It actually would make a great conversation starter as a coffee table book.